Around a spiral I go, on the way to perfecting my soul
Until I realize, the spiral’s purpose is not as straightforward as I thought
The reason for its rounded shape is not to take me to a perfect place
But it is to create a form akin to the shape of a Question Mark
Each round around, I realize I never get to The Answer
Each round around, brings me more questions
Each round around, I grow impatient
Until each round around, I learn patience
Until each round around, I learn the value of mystery…
And yet, upon thinking I learned this lesson,
I am still taken in for another round.
I want to sigh and shout, “Enough, I had learned already!”
But Life keeps bringing on its eternal pendulum swings
As if to taunt me, saying, “But have you really learned?”
I can feel like I am never learning, the rounds never-ending
Until I saw that, so long as I am going around
I am always learning, and always had been—
Not in a way that scratches the itch of Knowing Truth
Not in line with the stubborn narrow way of the Mind
With its love of finality and rewards…
Even when I tell myself I had learned this lesson,
Another round of the spiral comes, and yet another—
I never get my reward of peace at the end, it seems
I will never know how my life truly comes together
Or the real meaning of it
No matter how eager I am to know
Or how patient I become in not knowing…
Another series of rounds of the spiral comes along,
But over time, I am becoming one with its continuous Swing
By breathing slowly, in and out, upon each round,
Navigating that little bit of the present I have control over
Directing it like a point of a needle in creating a tapestry of a lifetime,
While letting go of the rest—
Which means letting go
of any Answers, any straight lines to a final point,
of having to have a better, more peaceful future
Where I can finally feel at home
And I can notice, by doing this,
How in the moment I feel a little better
That I can find a little peace
And discover a little Home within.
